Ya know what bothers me? I don't mean kinda bothers me, what really drives me up a wall. It's not the femi-nazis, it's not those tree-huggin bunny-lovin good-for-nothing nature-nazi enviornmentalists, it's not those little tags on pillows that say 'Do not remove.' I'm talking about those ignorant fools that talk smack about the Mac and don't have a freakin clue why they hate the Mac so much, just hate it to be cool, and then write a rant that really shows their ignorance. What I hate more than that is that people actually listen to these twerps and quote them like gospel.

I saw a prime example here.

My response:

"Sure, they've released big, slow, ugly-looking, toys that where made by and for idiots."

How are they big? A whole computer with monitor (iMac) is slightly larger than just a 15" monitor (or if you get a G4 you get a Mid tower that is about the same size as a PC midtower.) Ugly looking? Oh, and this is the vision of beauty:

And I would also like to see you support your statement about them being slow.

"And yeah, They've released a bulletproof, over-appreciated, metallic cube that smells like butt."

Hmmm... Every recent Apple I have opened smelled like polycarbonate... And in what way precisely is it overappreciated?

"But all-in-all, Apple really hasn't gotten that far since Steve Jobs got out of Charter and re-joined Apple."

Your right. How many consecutive quarters has Apple turned a profit? And that best selling computer ever, uh, the iMac. What a failure. Oh yeah, best selling laptop a joke. The first super computer available in the consumer marketplace... Certainly proves that Apple hasn't gotten that far.

"Mac OS is still the most unevolved OS on the market."

You can say that for a few more months...

"Hell, even Unix has evolved more than Mac has and you can bet that Windows is going to change every time you blink."

Hmmm, perhaps I am misinformed here, but it seems that UNIX is developed much more rapidly than Windows. And all MS is trying to do is make Windows achieve the lofty goals UNIX has reached. Well that and try to make it easy to use. Hey wait, easy to use UNIX, that sounds like Mac OS X. Ooh gosh, Apple appears to be a little ahead of the evil empire on this one.

"But what's up with Mac OS? If you put a computer running Mac OS 5 next to computer running Mac OS 9, you'd have to be a die-hard Mac addict to really notice the difference."

I BEG to differ. You think I wouldn't know the difference between opening just 1 single application at a time from being able to open as many applications as you want? You don't think I would notice the switch from black and white to color? You don't think I would notice Aliases? You don't think I will notice heirarchical menus? You don't think I will notice contextual menus? You don't think I will notice the ability to put a photo on the desktop? You don't think I will notice the ability to alter the appearance of the windows and menus etc.? You doubt I will notice Open GL? You don't think I will notice Quicktime. You doubt I will notice the Internet? You don't think I will notice the ability to keep my clock in synch with an atomic clock? You're sure I won't notice Sherlock? I sure wouldn't be able to find a use for AppleScript, Spring-Loaded folders, Multiple Users, Voice Authenication, 16-bit 48 KHz sound support, ColorSync, Speech Recognition, automatic software update, the control strip, find by content- the list goes on and on.

"Where, forsay, if you stuck Windows 3.2 next to Windows 98, you'd be able to pick the more advanced one without hesitation!"

I think the biggest problem with this is the lack of existance of a Windows 3.2... 3.11 was the last version released before 95...

"But watch out PC users, Mac OS 10 is coming out with a "new and improved" interface. C'mon, Apple. Can it really be that 'new and improved'?"

In a word- Yes.

"I haven't seen anything really evolutionary coming from Apple since that cool commercial they had at the 1984 Super Bowl."

Gosh, so many things I could pick, but I think the most obvious thing that Apple has given us since 1984 is Video on our desktops.

"Yeah, Mac OS is more stable than Windows, but my toilet is a lot more stable than the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You figure out which one is better."

Now really, this doesn't even make sense, if you need to look at an architectural work of art, the tower is better... If you need to take a dump, a toilet is better...

"The point is, is that Windows has a better quality, more evolved, user-friendly interface. And, in the end, that's really going to be you're biggest pro."

And if you need an overly complex, archaic, un-intelligent, un-user friendly, problematic user interface, Windows is better.

"Enough about software, now what about hardware. As far as I know, Intel seemed to begin to ship GHZers a few days back. Compaq and Gateway are going to be following in their footsteps. Where's Apple during all of this? My, oh, my, it seems that Apple's best computer on the market now is the 450mhz G4. Hmmm, 450mhz, I remember that value about a YEAR AND A HALF ago when Intel released the Pentium III."

First of all, MHz isn't all that matters. A processor could concievably be made that ran at 1 MHz and outperformed a 1 GHz Pentium III. All Hz tells you is the number of cycles the processor goes through, not how much it gets done, in each second. The only reason computers are marketed by their clock speed is because after spending millions of dollars on Market Research Intel found that people were more "Comfortable" with the term MHz as opposed to any of the processors more revealing specs, because they were familiar with it from their radio's and televisions. It would be far more telling if they would advertise processors based on MIPS (or BIPS), or FLOPS...

All in all I would say based on what I have seen that the 500 MHz G4 performs overall slightly more slowly than the new GHz PC processors, but for Altivec enabled tasks it still kicks their buttocks.

"And also another thing about this new G4. What is with that smell, eh? I don't know is anyone knows this, but the G4 lets off quite a vile stench on startup. Mmm, nothing like waking up to the smell of burning JUNK. Unfortunately, this problem is recognized and is under investigation by the same guys who gave the Apollo 13 the OK for launch and ICQ '99 Alpha the OK for public testing."

You're really reaching now...

"The point is, is that Apple is waaaay behind in their league. Nothing gets done and little is accomplished. That's why Apple employees seem so happy to work there. They get paid to release a bag of crap every 6 months and appear intelligent in the process. "

By your standards MS Employees should die of the immense happiness of being paid to fill the work with the ugliest, clunkiest, least user friendly, most useless bag of crap of all - Windows.

"I could go on ranting about Apple's $50 one-button mice and midget-sized keyboards"

Apple's mouse is far more ergonomic than a big clunky PC mouse, and it has been shown that the biggest problem beginning computer users have grasping the 2 button mouse. Their keyboard has full size keys except for the arrows, esc, F-Keys, help, home, pg up and pg down... The rest is full size. Since these keys tend to be used so rarely doesn't make a lick of difference. They iMac keyboard sure feels nice to type on though.

It seems obvious to me that you have never seriously sat down and USED a Macintosh. You are just opening your gaping maw and publishing whatever shit falls out. I await your response.