Converting the Choir
anonymous "switcher" shills WindowsXP to Monkeysoft customers
by Joshua Daniel Thorpe

Monkeysoft has posted some lame marketing hype dressed up as a Mac-to-PC switcher story. It is clear they are only preaching to the choir, as the article is contained in the "Insider" section of Monkeysoft's site, an area that seems oriented toward providing information to current Windows users. If nothing else, the so-called "convert confession" is good for a few laughs...at Monkeysoft's expense.

Update: after the "conversion" story was discussed at Slashdot, Microsoft yanked the page from its site. You can still find it cached at Google.

"I like the Microsoft Windows XP operating system enough to change my whole computing world around."

How did she know this before she switched? Usually someone switches from one product to another due to discontentment with the one she currently uses. The unidentified woman, portrayed in a soft-focus stock photograph by a gorgeous model with a caffeine addiction, says nothing about being discontent with the MacOS (or Apple hardware, for that matter). She also says nothing of having experience with WindowsXP before she chose to switch. This Mac-using woman became so familiar with WinXP, while still contently using a Mac daily, that she decided to switch?

"Windows XP gives me more choices and flexibility, and better compatibility with the rest of the technology world."

Sure, you have a few more choices in software and a great deal of flexibility in the hardware you use. Better compatibility with the "technology world," though? No, it is Monkeysoft who has trouble using open standards these days. Apple is jumping on board every open standard out there, even releaseing some of its own software inventions to the Open Soure community, while Monkeysoft is trying to leverage its market dominance to push its own proprietary technologies that lock MS users out of "the rest of the technology world."

"To my surprise, the process of switching was as easy as the marketing hype had promised."

Read: the process of switching is as easy as this load of marketing hype is promising.

"I demand the best in mobile computing."

That would be an Apple PowerBook :¬p

"My laptop came with 512 MB of RAM, a 15" screen, a DVD player, and Windows XP Home Edition preinstalled, for $450 less than a comparable iBook."

Sorry to break it to you, tootsie, but you didn't buy the "best in mobile computing" for only $1400. You can get a Wintel laptop that is comparable to an iBook for less than the iBook costs, but the iBook and its Wintel counterparts are not the "best in mobile computing." They may be good machines, and good values too, but they don't meet the demands of demanding people who demand "the best in mobile computing."

"My recommendation is to go straight to Windows XP Professional; the extra features for mobile users are worth it."

Funny—Apple doesn't require laptop owners to pay more for a "pro" version of MacOS to get "extra" mobile features. Is this what she loves so much about WindowsXP? Giving loads of money to Monkeysoft?

"AppleWorks (previously called ClarisWorks) pales in comparison to Microsoft Office XP. There's no equivalent for the versatility of Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint."

Seems to me that Monkeysoft Works also "pales in comparison to Monkeysoft Office XP." I guess we'll call it a draw, then. Isn't Office available for MacOS? Sure is, and there are equivalents to Office available for Windows, Linux, and MacOS. Doesn't she know this?

"Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 does more for me than Netscape Navigator ever did"

The old Netscape browser is equally miserable running on any OS, including WIndowsXP. Communicator's dilapitated condition is no reason to abandon any OS in favor of Windows, especially considering Explorer is available for MacOS. There are also worthy alternatives to Explorer: iCab, a MacOS-only browser whose multimedia-, cookie-, and JavaScript-filtering abilities are second to none; the multi-OS-compatible Mozilla, the fastest browser I've seen with the most innovative feature of all—tabbed browsing; Netscape 7, based on Mozilla; Chimera, a "Cocoa" MacOS-only browser based on Mozilla; OmniWeb, yet another "Cocoa" MacOSX browser with some innovative features; and more.

So far, it appears incredible ignorance is what caused this woman to switch to WindowsXP. Putting such "testimony" on its website is not a smart move for Monkeysoft.

The rest of the article consists of setup instructions for WindowsXP. As any discerning reader can see, this is not a "switcher" testimony at all, but simply Monkeysoft attemptng to hype its own wares. None of it presents a reason to switch to Windows from MacOS, or any other operating system. If I were a Windows user, I would be insulted that Monkeysoft thinks my brain is as poorly evolved as those of the gorillas who run its marketing department.

©2002 Joshua Daniel Thorpe, if you pirate this I will hunt you for sport

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